Custard Pie

(To the tune of Dolphins Cry by Live)

The Taste of your custard pie
Reminds me of sleepless nights
My stomach churning I toss and turn, in my bed
Next morning you smile and say
“I made pancakes in a special way”
I’m a helpless fool
Yeah, I ate it all, in a mad daze
I just can’t tell you that
Your cooking makes me gag
When you look at me sweetly over burnt toast
I give up the ghost

Darling someday I’ll tell you why
(You’re a bad cook, you can’t get worse)
When I eat oatmeal I cry
Your chocolate cake just leaves me speechless
Eat the pasta? I’d rather die
(You’re a bad cook, you can’t get worse)

Oh yeah remember when
Aunt Jane she came to stay
You gave her breakfast in bed, and she screamed
When I asked her why
She threw a bread bun at me
12 stitches the damn thing cost me
She packed up her stuff and left for Greece
Wait for me, so that we
So that we can go together!

Darling someday I’ll tell you why
(You’re a bad cook, you can’t get worse)
When I eat oatmeal I cry
Your chocolate cake just leaves me speechless
Eat the pasta? I’d rather die
(You’re a bad cook, you can’t get worse)

Colic and dyspepsia
Recurring waves of nausea
They all constantly hover in my life with you
In a blinding paradox
You’re as healthy as an ox
When will my troubles be over?

Over…