Rhymes with Baby-Maker

Look at the smile. Just look at it.

Those who know me and love me despite it are aware that as of late I am completely and utterly blotto about Simon Baker. I have already warned them that an intervention may be needed and I’m quite sure that should it come to that they would not skimp on the home-made banners.  

Anyway, what I really wanted to write about was this insane blog  I stumbled upon written by a lady with exemplary taste. She had (wait a moment while I writhe in jealousy)...(okay, done) actually MET HIM, shaken his hand, tugged at those glorious blonde locks and quite possibly drooled on his jacket. Now I had been going through a bad phase of insomnia, had slept a total of 6.5 hours in 3 days, and my thinking was a little bendy. So I thought it would be a brilliant idea to write to her. A fellow Simonite after all (note: Simonite rhymes with Vegemite  - maybe notify Nicole and Keith for future reference) so what could go wrong, right? Well  I went ahead and did it before I lost my nerve. I quite honestly thought that that would be the end of it. But when I got home and checked my mail, she had replied! And it wasn’t a cease and desist letter – it was an awesomely complementary email. And here’s the best thing sports fans; she, a PUBLISHED AUTHOR, thought I was funny. Now tell me I’m funny and you’ll have me flat on my back in 2 seconds. So you can imagine how chuffed I was, am and will be for the foreseeable future.

p.s. how does one writhe anyway? I always imagined a snake like movement where you stick your neck out and and sort of squirm. 

p.p.s.I don’t know whether I’m allowed to post her email to me here, but here’s what I wrote to her, in all its Simon-worshipping glory: 

Hi Kerri,

I have never in my life emailed a stranger. Yet I’m doing so now. This may be partially due to the fact that I’m extremely sleep deprived but mostly because I googled "Simon Baker is awesome" and it directed me to your blog. Why exactly did I google "Simon Baker is awesome" you ask? Well, (a) because he is and (b) because my best friend is sick of hearing me say it so I thought google would be more sympathetic.

I am ashamed to say that I didn't know of Simon Baker's existence till three weeks ago. A friend had given me Season 1 of The Mentalist but since I had a huge collection of movies accumulated in the "to watch" folder on my laptop  I had never got around to checking it out. Then three weeks ago I was laid low with a nasty flu and I needed a distraction but didn't have the stamina to keep watching for the length of a movie and I decided to give this Mentalist thing a go. The rest, as they say, is dust bunnies in Simon Bakers Hoover because from that point on I was hooked, I was smitten, I was overcome to the point of madness (the flu might have contributed) and once I had shaken off the illness I set out on a mission to watch every single thing Simon Baker had ever starred in. 

Needless to say I finishes all four seasons of The Mentalist in record time. I'm currently halfway through the last season of The Guardian. I re-watched The Devil wears Prada and asked myself how on earth I had not latched on to him when I first watched it all those years ago. I remember rooting for Adrian's character way back then. What kind of mentally challenged creature had I been in my not so distant (not so much) youth? Anyway, now I know better. 

I got such a kick out of reading about your meeting him on set. After reading your blog I have firmly told my best friend that I am NOT mental and that it's a perfectly natural phenomenon to be completely besotted by Simon Baker. 

In closing I would like to assure you that the church of Simontology has a new member. 

On a less facetious note:

I love your blog. I wish I could write like you but I can't so I've resigned myself to reading awesome writers instead of aspiring to be one. 

Madhuka

p.s. I didn't know how to end this - "regards" would be too formal "love" would be insane and "cheers" would be pretentious since I'm not British so as you may have observed I have chickened out and just written my name.