Roll out! (hopefully)

So the third installment of Michael Bays CGIwankfest or, "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" is being filmed; to be released in July 2011. The cast is plentiful and kinda interesting with the likes of John Malkovich and Patrick Dempsey thrown into the mix. The usual suspects like Shia LaBeouf and Josh Duhamel are also present and accounted for. Some of the autobots are getting a facelift and Bumble is rumoured to be a 2011 Chevrolet Camaro. The most talked about change is of course the non-reappearance of Megan Fox. She’s been replaced by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and I have to agree with the IMDBer who said “she looks like somebody smacked her in the face with a shovel”. It’s like replacing a plank with a piece of driftwood. (On a completely unrelated note, does Megan Fox breathe through her mouth? Or is the weight of all that lip-gloss dragging her lower lip down?)

Anyway, I sense the there will plenty of Transformers-related discussions taking place at the breakfast table. And inevitably at some point I will confess that I thought the first two movies were crap. Every time I say this, I get this whole “you don’t like the Transformers movies because you just don’t like transformers” argument thrown at me from all sides. That’s seems to be the only argument the fan-bots seem to be able to come up with. And this, I fear is neither a valid argument not true.

See, I LIKE transformers. Transformers are beyond cool. And a movie ABOUT transformers had the potential to be a real good time at the movies. This alas, didn’t quite happen the last two times.

In the first movie, Transformers, there was actually some attempt made to come up with a cohesive storyline. Then of course they decided that they need ‘more cowbell’ in the form of lots and lots of CGI and then at this point the movie became incomprehensible. During the awesome battle, I couldn’t make out the autobots from the decepticons and when you can’t tell the good guy from the bad guy it’s BAD BAD movie making. On the whole the first movie left me feeling like a popped balloon. All buoyant and happy at first and totally deflated and cheated at the end.

This brings us to the second movie; Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen. This was such a cheese-fest that my cringe levels hit an all time high. I felt acutely embarrassed for the actors hamming it out on screen. (Except for Megan Fox. I have no sympathy for her.) The whole movie was based on an abysmal storyline with a screenplay probably typed out by two twelve year -olds on an endless supply of twinkies.

So do I dare hope for a half-way decent movie in Dark of The Moon? I fear not. All that awesome CGI will just be laid to waste in the bumbling hands of Michael Bay.