I went for a bit of a walk this morning. The silly cat wakes me up at 5.30 on the dot anyway, demanding food, so I thought
might as well and headed out. Having recently watched and become besotted with Rocketman, I had been listening to the soundtrack on a loop. And it was when the first strains of T
he Bitch is Back started that I had my titular epiphany. I realised in that moment why I fixate on certain actors (the one exception being Kevin Smith) and start watching their films obsessively. Because these people make movies that, as Rocky would say, fills certain holes. And I get utterly lost in their art and their lives and I get different things out of each of them. Rocky gets me inspired and back in the gym. Kevin Smith makes me feel like anyone can do anything. Simon Pegg makes me happy because a nerd grew up and made movies he used to dream about. And Rocketman - gosh, Elton's music and his life was something we grew up with. I remember reading about his divorce and about him identifying as bisexual without even understanding what that was at the time, hearing about his hair transplants and discussing with my sister how exactly that would even work. No one in Sri Lanka knew about hair transplants back then! We loved Elton then, I love him now and that movie is just such a testament to who he is and I love it to bits. Ergo, it brings me joy.
And while I'm caught up in any of these bouts where I chase some person's life and their creativity I'm elevated. I can shut out the everyday and just get lost. It's a form of therapy I suppose. And since I don't seem to be able to stick with actual therapists (or afford them!) this'll have to do.
