So what did I grow up and do? I married Shane Perera of
course.
Being married was hard; being married was wonderful; being
married to you, it opened me up to a whole new world of experiences, and made
me into a bigger better person. It gave me the capacity to love strongly, and
more importantly, to be able to express that love openly. For a shy girl who
earlier couldn’t even utter a simple ‘I love you’ without tying myself in knots
– that was a major freakin’ deal.
It didn’t last, but so what; that doesn’t take away what
was. What it made me be. And no matter what form of love mine has evolved to,
it’s there and it always will be. You opened up a side of yourself to me that
quite possibly only one other person in the world has ever seen. One of the
things that make my insides wrench is that Abbster won’t ever get to see you as
I saw you. But she has so much of you in her. She makes me stop in my tracks
when she mimics a mannerism or even says something that’s just so you. With
her, I don’t know where I end and you begin and I wouldn’t have it any other
way.
Guardians of the Galaxy is coming out soon. And you’re not
going to get to see it, are you. It’s funny, how things like that are what get
to me the most. I’m sorry that the last thing you watched in the X-Men
franchise was the shitty Wolverine movie and that you totally missed Days of
Future Past.
For a while there babe, we had the most amazing ride. I
suppose to have had even a short amount of indescribable happiness is better
than a lifetime of banality. I’ll forever be grateful that the last moment we
shared was when I hugged you goodbye so tightly I made your glasses smudge. You
made that ‘tsk tsk’ face and I cleaned them up. Let’s call this that last hug
anniversary; that sounds better than any other name I can think of.
