I’ve turned into a Walker. A lumbering beast that follows a
pack, aimlessly straggling down a marked course with only one mission: get to
the end of it, and then turn around and walk back again.
Okay so it’s not as dramatic as all that. But I have,
sad to say, resorted to walking since I simply can’t muster up the motivation to
engage in any other form of exercise at the moment. And this is not normal for
me as those who know me well (about 2 people) will attest. But the truth is, my
motivation to work out fluctuates. For the last few years it’s been a cycle of:
- Gain weight
- Get horrified by the weight gain
- Frantically research new training schedules
- Get myself to the gym regularly and even (gasp!) do cardio
- Eat better
- Lose the weight
- Feel fantastic
- Get complacent
- Skip a workout now and then because I think I can ‘get away with it’
- Stop working out for a few weeks because<random excuse>
- Start eating junk because I’m sad that I’m not working out
- Gain weight
- Go back to 2
I have now reached a new low where I can’t even get back to
2. For the last few months I have been stuck in a vicious loop of 11 to 13. So great
is my shame that walking actually feels like a step up. “You’re doing fine.” I tell
myself as I trudge along. “Look at you walking! You’re moving your body from
one place to another with your legs! You’re awesome!”
These days I’m actually using a designated ‘walking area’. It’s
nice because you don’t have to dodge traffic but it’s also a bit sad – seeing as
about ninety percent of the people on it are senior citizens. The rest of them
consist of:
- Two serious runners
- Three power walkers - you know how Pheboe runs? Well these people walk like that
- One headscarf wearing man
- One woman wearing a serviette on her head. I’m not kidding. Remember that kind of checked serviettes that your uncle who was a government clerk used to carry in his briefcase? That type of serviette. (Okay fine, so it was my uncle who was the government clerk but you get the point.)
- One guy in sandals – who probably got lost on his way to the bus stop
- One guy walks with his head tilted like an actual zombie (why do zombies do that?)
- Me
Despite these deterrents, I have been persevering – for exactly
three days. And I’m writing this because:
- I wanted to use The Walking Bread in a title so very badly.
- I’m actually kinda sorta proud of myself for doing something other than going back to sleep after getting the offspring to the school bus.
- Using lists makes this look longer than it actually is so I can pretend I wrote something worthy.
The one good thing about these walks is that when the zombie
apocalypse finally comes, and my car runs out of petrol during my escape, I will
be able to walk miles and miles till I find a replacement vehicle – provided of
course that it’s only 3.5 kilometers away.
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