Monday, July 06, 2015

Mortality Combat


No matter how it happens, whether it's sudden or long drawn out, expected or unexpected, death just fucking sucks. It just does. For the person who is dead as well as the people left behind. You can't say 'oh but he's better off now'. Like fuck he is. He’s dead. How can he be better off? He’s missing out on everything. He’s ashes. He's dust. That can't be fun. Oh sure, living the way he was wasn’t much good, so if that's what you're comparing death to then hell yes, this ending is better. But why did any of it have to happen anyway. All of it just blows. 

'Time will heal' is something you're bound to hear, many many times. Time doesn't motherfucking heal anything. Time, if at all, accentuates your loss because every single day you come across another new thing that isn't the same because this person died. What does happen is - you get used to doing without his presence. You get used to managing with other people. You manage. You never heal. You just learn to go on as if this gaping wound in your side doesn't bother you anymore. A bit like Henry VIII - without the serial marriages and spousicide. 

Next up we have 'the good die young'. Really? They do? Does kindness kill? How does that make any sense? Not everyone who has an untimely death is inherently good - this theory is hogwash.

Death, or rather, the post-death phase directly affects those left behind. And there are myriad ways in which people handle these situations. For me, personally, it’s the thought of the dead missing out on the rest of their lives and the lives they cared about that really gets to me. The fact that everything that comes after, they couldn’t experience. And these thoughts come unbidden, at the strangest moments. Anything can trigger them; from milestones in your child’s life to that moment where Stan Lee makes a cameo appearance on Eureka (which you started watching now because you remembered that he used to watch it on TV but you never got into it at the time).

Death sucks. Life after death sucks harder.

2 comments:

Thé Doctor said...

Big Hugs!!

I can't say I know exactly what it's like for you but yeah it does suck.

So, yeah, big big hugs.

Muds said...

I will accept these hugs, and thank you for them. :)

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